Faith

For the sake of my servant Jacob, and Israel my chosen, I call you by name, I name you, though you do not know me.
I am the Lord and there is no other, besides me there is no God; I equip you, though you do not know me, that people may know, from the rising of the sun and from the west that there is none besides me; I am the Lord and there is no other.
I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the Lord, who does all these things. - Isaiah 45:4-7

Lately, I've been sitting at a fork in the road - a time in my life where my decisions could very well determine the rest of my life. There is a desire deep in my soul to throw off all the things that are holding me back from following Jesus, but I haven't been giving that desire the fuel it needs to burn, the air it needs to breathe. In denying this desire, I am denying myself; in suffocating this desire, I am suffocating myself.
God is calling me by name. I have no doubt about that. But there is a fear in me. What's to come of all this that I have been given? What's to come of me? Can I really leave it all behind without looking back? Just a few days ago I was standing on a balcony at the 14th floor of a beachfront hotel, and thinking that following Christ would be similar to jumping off that balcony without any knowledge of what would happen next. Both actions guarantee suffering and both require forces beyond myself to get me out of harm's way. In these moments of my life I am finding out if I have the courage and the faith to leap.